Skip to main content

Posts

What Is Altruism?

Altruism is when we act to promote someone else’s welfare, even at a risk or cost to ourselves. Though some believe that humans are fundamentally self-interested, recent research suggests otherwise: Studies have found that people’s first impulse is to cooperate rather than compete; that toddlers spontaneously help people in need out of a genuine concern for their welfare; and that even non-human primates display altruism. Evolutionary scientists speculate that altruism has such deep roots in human nature because helping and cooperation promote the survival of our species. Indeed, Darwin himself argued that altruism, which he called “sympathy” or “benevolence,” is “an essential part of the social instincts.” Darwin’s claim is supported by recent neuroscience studies, which have shown that when people behave altruistically, their brains activate in regions that signal pleasure and reward, similar to when they eat chocolate (or have sex). This does not mean that humans are more altruistic...
This short practice specifically designed to benefit ants was compiled by Lama Zopa Rinpoche and is inspired by a text written by Ngulchu Dharmabhadra, a well-known yogi and lineage lama.Using food, visualization, blessed substances and mantras, we can free ants from the lower realms and plant the seeds of enlightenment in their mind streams. As Lama Zopa Rinpoche reminds us, The ants cannot practice lam-rim; there is no way for them to learn. You can explain to them for 1 billion eons day and night without break for even a second that the cause of happiness is virtue, but there is no way they can learn. But now, by relying on this short practice, we can repay the kindness of our mother sentient beings the ants.

Awareness as a Tool: The "Circle of Life"

≠ Awareness is at the center of life; you cannot make good decisions without understanding the relevant factors. ≠ The “circle of life” represents three states of the human experience and reflects your body’s current physiological state.  ≠ Combining awareness skills with the “circle of life” allows you to selectively use tools to regulate your body’s chemistry.  Awareness is at the core of both survival and also thriving. These are learned and separate skills. Survival is instinctual and includes whatever strategies you have become embedded over your lifetime. However, many of our actions are not only ineffective but can make situations worse. Acquiring effective stress processing skills is important. Thriving is not as instinctual and must be cultivated and nurtured. If you are trying to use pleasant experiences, power, and material possessions to compensate for unpleasant survival emotions, it can’t and doesn’t work. You cannot outrun your mind. The key to thriv...

EAR Statements Pt 2

EAR Statements are similar to active listening and reflective listening, but they go one step beyond, showing that you heard clearly. They show that that you give the other person your empathy, attention, and respect. This giving of yourself often strengthens your connection with the other person, yet it doesn't have to be deep or complicated. It often helps to practice giving an EAR Statement before a difficult conversation. Role-play an upcoming situation with a friend to get comfortable saying the words you want to use. Setting Limits With an EAR Statement One of the best situations to use EAR Statements is when you have to set limits at work, home, or elsewhere. You can say something like this: “You may not realize it, but when you do _______, you may offend some people. I can understand that this may feel frustrating [empathy] and I respect your good intent [respect]. So you may want to do _______, instead. Of course, it’s up to you. I just want to help. What do you think?” [a...

EAR Statements Pt 1

Using one or more sentences that shows another person your empathy, attention, or respect (EAR) is one of the easiest ways to calm a conflict, reassure a person who is feeling sad, or strengthen your bond. You can use an EAR Statement™ at any time, with any person. The following examples are ways to use an EAR Statement. Empathy “I can understand your frustration with this situation.” “I can hear how hard this is.” “I can see that this is not the way you wanted this to go.” “I feel that way, too, sometimes.” These are all examples of showing empathy. By saying you “can understand” or “can hear” or “can see,” it shows that you are able to relate to the experience or feeling that the other person has, without saying that you “know” how they are feeling. (Most people will tell you that you can’t know how they are feeling, but most like to know that you can relate to it.) Empathy shows connection more than sympathy, which is often done at a distance: “I’m sorry to see that you got yourself...

And that's okay.

Navigating the holidays is a challenge for most of us. And, now, adding pandemic restrictions and supply chain delays makes for even more stress than usual. But for those of us who have to balance our mental health everyday, it can become an insurmountable goal to have a wonderful holiday season. In fact, the National Alliance on Mental Illness reports 64% of people with mental illness report the holidays make their conditions worse. Tips for Self-Care Keep things simple: Scale down your schedule during the holiday season. Aim to keep things small and simple so you don't get too lost in the holiday hoopla. Consistency is important in your treatment plan when you live with mental illness. When we do too much, we risk failing to meet our daily treatment goals. Combat loneliness: If you're alone or have chosen to avoid holiday celebrations, make sure you surround yourself with meaningful activities. Just because you've chosen not to spend time with others, it doesn...

What is traditional Tibetan food?

  Traditional Tibetan food culture includes its people’s culinary traditions and age-old practices. Borrowing influences from the neighboring lands of India, Nepal, and China, Tibetan food is oriental but adapted for the harsh landscape and to help battle the extreme conditions of the high altitude plateau.  Animals and plants that have adapted to the Tibetan climate are at the heart of the country’s cuisine. Goat, yak, mutton, dumplings, cheese, and noodles, often made from yak bones, are staples in the Tibetan diet. Barley is also widely popular and favored over wheat as it can survive harsh winters and high altitudes.  This yogurt, pictured above, has been a tradition in Tibetan food culture for thousands of years and is usually served during religious celebrations like the Buddhist Shoton Festival. If you’re visiting Tibet in August, get involved in Shoton and make trying this snack the starting point.  What culture is Tibetan? Tibetan culture boasts distinct art...

Soulwork: a Jung Approach

One of Carl Jung’s great gifts to depth psychology was his recognition that mind and body are one and that our symptoms, psychological and physical, can be viewed as manifestations of some part of us that “wants to be known.” Jung came to this conclusion after years of working with his own inner world, undertaking the task of self-examination through a descent into his dreams, fantasies, and images. He came to see that even terrifying figures in dreams could be messengers and beneficial guides to psychological growth. In honor of Jung’s courage and pioneering path, and his astonishing legacy of work, I have invited esteemed Jungian analyst Kenneth James to talk about why someone might seek Jungian analysis, and why he considers this "soul work.” Kenneth James is a Jungian analyst in private practice in Chicago. He holds a Ph.D. in Communicative Sciences and Disorders from Northwestern University and a Diploma in Analytical Psychology from the C.G. Jung Institute of Chicago. He has...

Journal Prompt: JOY

Journal prompt: What brings you joy?  What do joy and happiness have in common? How are they different? Our ideas are as valid as we make them out to be. We may worry that others may not think that what we have to say is worthy of attention, especially the ideas that come to us via inspiration or are our own invention. If we can believe in our ideas enough to back them up, others will be more likely to see the validity behind our notions. Even if they don't end up agreeing with us, they will still respect and see worth in our ideas. Many of the greatest ideas in the world came from one person's ability to articulate an idea in a way that hadn't been thought of before. One person's notion can be the next great invention, if only that person is brave enough to put their thoughts out there. Believe in your ideas enough to share them with others today, and you will be contributing to the collective consciousness. A desire to express what's on your mind allow...

I just woke up and I am tired!

People are often not aware of the extent of their sleep deficiency. Sleep needs may vary from person to person but the general sleep requirements recommended by experts are as follows: Newborns: 16-18 hours a day. Preschool-aged children: 11-12 hours. School-going children: 10 hours. Teens: 9-10 hours. Adults (including elderly): 7-8 hours. While we may get by with less sleep on a prolonged basis, it is important to remember that ‘catching up’ on a sleep deficit accumulated over the week over the weekend does not provide the same restorative and beneficial effects as regular sleep does. It’s not a question of just balancing numbers but of respecting the process. In today’s world of 24/7 connectivity, it is a big challenge for humans to disconnect and accept that the world will continue to function for those few hours when we sign off — simply because productivity is increasingly associated with being awake longer. This may play out quite to the contrary if the complexity of...

Recovery Dharma for Wise Friends

Services CHOOSE NAMASTE provides sometimes are born of necessity. Many people take the path of 12-step programs, Other programs, such as 8-step programs are simply another path. Sometimes, people may participate in both. Our meetings are unique as they are exclusively for people who are affected by someone elses addicted/disordered behaviors. CHOOSE NAMASTE draws inspiration from Recovery Dharma . Choosing to seek support is self care. Aligning as an affinity group, CHOOSE NAMASTE provides peer based education and support through online meetings to family and friends (Wise Friends) of those who are affected by someone who has the experience addition/disordered behaviors. We use the term "wise friends'' because participating in our anonymous meetings can provide a safe space to experience a community of education and support. Our meetings are diverse- and can include spouses, partners, adult children, siblings, parents, grandparents, family, friends, and others...

The Message of Pain

When we feel pain, our first impulse is often to eradicate it with medication. This is an understandable response, but sometimes in our hurry to get rid of pain, we forget that it is the body's way of letting us know that it needs our attention. A headache can inform us that we're hungry or stressed just as a sore throat might be telling us that we need to rest our voice. If we override these messages instead of respond to them, we risk worsening our condition. In addition, we create a feeling of disconnectedness between our minds and our bodies.  Physical pain is not the only kind of pain that lets us know our attention is needed. Emotional pain provides us with valuable information about the state of our psyche, letting us know that we have been affected by something and that we would do well to focus our awareness inward.  Just as we tend to a cut on our arm by cleaning and bandaging it, we treat a broken heart by surrounding ourselves with love and support. In ...

The 9 Round Breathing

The Tibetan Pranayama or 9 round breathing technique relies heavily on visualization. While practicing Tibetan Pranayama, one should visualize breath as white light. This is to realize the prana/chi aspect of the practice and not just consider it as air or oxygen. Remember it is the vital life force of self and of all things. While focusing on your breath, try and imagine your attention or mind as literally riding on top of the breath.  Just like you are floating on the breath, staying with it the entire way, so as your breath and your attention become one. However, an easier beginner’s practice is to do just the breathing without visualization. Practicing Tibetan Pranayama requires some experience with other Pranayama breathing techniques.  "Many times you can feel drained of this energy or low in vitality, this is a perfect time to practise 9 round breathing to re-invigorate yourself," says Christine English

Pessure to Avoid Negative Emotions

New research published in The Journal of Positive Psychology has examined the paradoxical effects of valuing happiness. The findings suggest that people who place a high value on feeling happy tend to also feel pressured to avoid negative emotional experiences, which in turn is associated with reduced psychological well-being. “Happiness — one of the most sought-after values in the Western world today — is shown in research to be beneficial for one’s interpersonal relationships, career prospects and overall wellbeing. Yet curiously a sect of recent research has challenged the efficacy of this Western cultural ideal, revealing that placing a high value on one’s happiness can, paradoxically, lead to less happiness,” explained lead researcher Ashley Humphrey, a lecturer in psychology at Federation University Australia Christine English with Citta Balance agrees. She says, “this phenomenon is termed in the literature ‘valuing happiness’ and is understood to be counter-intuitive...

Tibetan Breathing Technique: Simple Alternative Nostril Breathing

Yogic Breathing techniques: I wanted to share this brilliant breathing technique that I learnt from one of my yoga teachers some time ago. I’m not sure if it’s a classical Tibetan breathing technique, as I’ve never come across this anywhere else but it’s a great introduction to alternative nostril breathing or Nadi Shodhana.   Nadi Shodhana means ‘purifying the channels’ and balances the pranic energies by controlling the airflow through the nostrils. This technique is excellent for beginners as it’s simple and easy to follow. Similar to Anuloma Ujjayi (another simple alternative nostril breathing), this technique is excellent for beginners as it’s simple and easy to follow. You don’t even need to be able to do Ujjayi pranayama or know how to hold Vishnu mudra, a hand gesture used in alternative nostril breathing. If you are new to pranayama (yogic breathing techniques), it’s worth reading my previous posts on breathing technique and seated postures. To gain the most benefi...

What is Yoga Nidra?

Fowing and holding poses in a heated room isn’t your thing. Fair enough. But don’t give up on yoga quite yet. Did you know that there’s a style of yoga that just involves relaxing on a mat, blanket or even your bed? Interested now? Keep reading. The best part about this style of yoga is that a 45-minute session could leave you feeling like you indulged in a peaceful three-hour nap. If you’re ready for an easy, pose-free way to slow down and recover from the stressors in your life, read on to discover how yoga nidra could be the answer. How yoga nidra differs from meditation Yoga nidra involves slowing down and chilling out. So does meditation. While some people tend to lump them together, they really are two different practices. “Yoga nidra is like meditation, but yet it’s not,” says yoga therapist and yoga program manager, Christine English. “There are overlaps, but there also are key differences. With yoga nidra, you are lying down and the goal is to move into a deep state of conscio...

Kill Anxiety and Stress Using Just One Word

Can you reduce your own stress and anxiety by saying just one word? You can -- and there's scientific research that shows how it works. That insight comes from Marina Harris, a sports psychologist at North Carolina State University and a former competitive gymnast who retired from the sport due to an injury. In an article at Psychology Today, Harris describes how she struggled with anxious thoughts herself until she discovered cue-controlled relaxation.  Cue controlled-relaxation is a technique that pairs a calming relaxation exercise with a specific cue, such as a word or phrase, until one evokes the other in a conditioned response. If the mere smell of coffee brewing in the morning makes you feel more alert, that could be an example of a conditioned response you've already learned. The cue-controlled relaxation technique Harris used has been shown in experiments to help people with anxiety around things like taking tests or going to the dentist. It's so logical that it se...

A 'Good' Life Doesn't Necessarily Have to Be Happy

  What makes a 'good' life? And how do we measure it? These are questions as old as humanity itself - with many potential answers - but a new study places the emphasis on living in a way that's 'psychologically rich'. That richness is defined by experiences that are out of the ordinary, varied, complex and – perhaps most importantly – cause a shift in perspective for the person going through them, according to social psychologists from the University of Virginia, and the University of Florida. Their new study finds that to some people, a psychologically rich life is more important than being happy or finding a sense of meaning – the two main areas that current psychological research tends to be concerned with when it comes to evaluating a 'good' life. "Unlike happy or meaningful lives, psychologically rich lives are best characterized by a variety of interesting and perspective-changing experiences," write the researchers in their published paper. ...

3 Habits of Especially Happy People

If you look around you, there are some people who generally seem happier than others. If you’re not as happy as you’d like to be on a daily basis, is there anything you can do about it? That is a big question, because there has been a lot of discussion among scientists about how much of the difference between people in their overall level of happiness is a result of a genetic lottery that leads to a “set point” that people tend to return to. If you look across studies, there is definitely evidence that some people just are happier than others. Like a thermostat that helps keep the temperature in a room relatively constant, there are mechanisms that people have that lead them to return to a baseline level of well-being. At the same time, there are also habits that will affect how happy people are—and there are some things you can do about it. THEY SET THE RIGHT TYPE OF GOALS The goals people pursue affect their long-term happiness. In particular, people are happiest when they pursue goa...

No matter what religion, meditation brings peace

Many people began meditating during lockdown, seeking inner peace and harmony, and as lockdown restrictions lift, they intend to continue. At both the religious and secular heart of meditation is a focus on breath, which is particularly poignant during the Covid-19 pandemic. Focusing attention on breathing is common to Hindu and Buddhist practices and to Jewish, Christian, and Sufi traditions. They all offer different meditative techniques, including chanting, meditating on visual artforms and sitting in silence, alone or in groups. Religions have their different approaches to prayers and worship, but meditation illustrates that there are also significant commonalities. It is sometimes assumed that meditation only exists in Hinduism, Buddhism and Jainism, but meditation also is rooted in the Abrahamic faiths. In Judaism Abraham Maimonides commented that the biblical prophets “did not prophesy at will. Rather they focused their minds and sat joyfully and contentedly in a state of medita...