Wholistic Health and Wellness Practicer

EAR Statements are similar to active listening and reflective listening, but they go one step beyond, showing that you heard clearly. They show that that you give the other person your empathy, attention, and respect. This giving of yourself often strengthens your connection with the other person, yet it doesn't have to be deep or complicated. It often helps to practice giving an EAR Statement before a difficult conversation. Role-play an upcoming situation with a friend to get comfortable saying the words you want to use. Setting Limits With an EAR Statement One of the best situations to use EAR Statements is when you have to set limits at work, home, or elsewhere. You can say something like this: “You may not realize it, but when you do _______, you may offend some people. I can understand that this may feel frustrating [empathy] and I respect your good intent [respect]. So you may want to do _______, instead. Of course, it’s up to you. I just want to help. What do you think?” [a...

Using one or more sentences that shows another person your empathy, attention, or respect (EAR) is one of the easiest ways to calm a conflict, reassure a person who is feeling sad, or strengthen your bond. You can use an EAR Statement™ at any time, with any person. The following examples are ways to use an EAR Statement. Empathy “I can understand your frustration with this situation.” “I can hear how hard this is.” “I can see that this is not the way you wanted this to go.” “I feel that way, too, sometimes.” These are all examples of showing empathy. By saying you “can understand” or “can hear” or “can see,” it shows that you are able to relate to the experience or feeling that the other person has, without saying that you “know” how they are feeling. (Most people will tell you that you can’t know how they are feeling, but most like to know that you can relate to it.) Empathy shows connection more than sympathy, which is often done at a distance: “I’m sorry to see that you got yourself...